My dear Grace, since a long time, I really thought that you deserve all the care, best attentions, love, sweetness and that one’s can cherish you and put you on a pedestal as I did…may be the only one who dare to give such privilege! I was moved by your saying, words etc…never realising or getting evidence of facts to express me who you’re in your real personality. Oh yes, all what you wrote me before looks like surrealistic, even a romance but what about reality?

You know, sometimes whatever is our experience in life, whatever will be our knowledge about people psychology, and it happens that we can be mistaken. That’s what I learned from our exchange.

First when I met you, according to what you wrote me, you make me believing that you’re someone

very sensitive, compassionate etc…since you wrote me once that you’ve been working in a foundation as volunteer which entails no allowance for me for almost two years.

How is it possible that you changed now, becoming a real egoistic, selfish, indifferent, nearly cynic girl only making attention to her own sake and finally just contemplating her nave!

I get truly confused when I make a synopsis of our relationship since few months after you reactivate our “friendship” on January.            

Thus I asked you to give just a small psychological support to that woman and till now like you did before….YOU ONLY SHOW YOUR SILENCE! This behaviour and particularly showing only by indifference looks unworthy and more! Now I realize how much you boast me with your words, making yourself as someone very sincere, precious etc. How can you make me believing that “ it is in my innate nature to respect anybody regardless of race status or any classification that he belongs to. In my opinion, respect is the least that I could give to a person. In the same thing that I would expect it in return.. I understand, I have nothing to brag about, I have no accomplishment yet.. but modesty aside, those persons who have known me for sometime,…” Oh what a lie, a fake ! We call this “comedia dell arte” likewise Mr Machiavelli!! If you’re this kind of personage, I cannot flush to be what I’m…meaning an epicurean who love fucking, getting the much more girls and ladies in his bed. You know I visited many countries in my life from the both extremity of the word from Colombia to the Philippines. Yes, I've got many friends, lovers, admirers, suitors all of them girls of course…I fucked hundreds of girls from different countries and ethnics, white, black, morena, half casted, yellow, mixed, attractive girls and women, thin, small, tall, never fat but with a nice sex-appeal etc.., I loved the way they greet me, they grant all my desires. In the Philippines, I’ve been loved by many girls, pretty, maganda, tender, sweet etc. I fucked many of them in every part of several islands from the Nord till Palawan..… So I can say with certitude that among all the people I met everywhere you’re the only one who has this particular character and behaviour. However for months I gave you a chance to realise my kindness, my authentic personality of gentleman sending you love letters, nice pictures or whatever Power Point jokes or documentations….etc..etc…What’s your secret? Don’t you like men? Are you psychotic or…what is the truth?    

Lastly I was ready to welcome you here in my home and to give you my support, my compassion, my tenderness and all the nice things that make you feeling comfortable and deeply happy. But one day or another truth appears and reveal what people are inner in the deep of their complex personality. And like that I discover the kind of woman you’re!! May be, you don’t deserve anything nice since your behaviour is only indifference and cynics.

You pretend to go abroad and live there as a helper! Even as a helper you’ll never success because you are stiff in your manner, inflexible in your character like a nun, often strict, rigorous and severe! You want to be inaccessible, may be arrogant but my dear this is the wrong way!  That’s why you never success. As people of your sign zodiacal you are intolerant, nervous, impatient, hyperactive, presumptuous, arrogant, self-destroying, disrespectful, unwise and even gospeller.

I loved you with my good faith, on the strength of your words, your message sent in the past time…I was very very patient with you as you recognize “all your efforts, time, money spent for our continuous communication. And most especially for how much you valued me as a person” etc.

Finally, definitely you deceived me. So now you must realize the fact that if you know what you earn, you don’t guess what you loose. 

Bye bye girl

“Indeed, life conceals other aspects which open the way towards other hopes whatever are our vision of the world: cerebral conception and value or just intellectual rumination, may be a simple vision of the things in a way down-to-earth in the most original possible way. I conceive that the entire human have very often the same aim looking one each other. They aspire to the wellbeing with a desperate research of happiness. But does happiness exist?

From my experience, I learned that life offers us many facets much simpler of access.  It’s enough to have the glance more adapted without great claims, nor other temptations, mirages would I say. Especially not to be locked up in yokes or a conformism inherited from our fathers and mothers. All that, in a world where the money, fashion and opportunism are set up as a referee of success! Truly, let us be not involved on familiar grounds: desperate search of the friendship, love, jealousy, loneliness, and chloroformed dreams under the ether of disillusions. Immured in their prejudices, men and women become entangled themselves each day in a kind of latent schizophrenia without them not being ready to blame distort them certainty of the good majority direction by lucid reflex ion. It’s like says a poet " go and live but get burning questions" this question which consumes many others of we come back to the principle of life uncertainty. Whereas he act to try to live naturally, to write his own history simply and avoiding to seek the difficulty in our choices of life: materialism or sophistication since today more and more people look at their navel and…. women shows more and more their intimacy, low than the belt. But often people are boating, doing fake and false face, appearance, fooling the others ….thinking that nobody can discover their duperies.      

The imaginary one is sometimes excessive and has painful repercussions. It’s sweet to the glance but how much this can reach some limits, which can only provoke laughing, or a sarcastic smile, but especially how much disillusions.” I wrote you this on July 2004 just after you sent me this extract of one of your message:

“I believed in reincarnation. I don't find it corny.. You may somehow feel that I'm an old fashion at an age of 27, I guessed to some extent? I'm somewhat a nature lover! I guessed that's one of our common denominator? About the literature, it seems though that you're a wide reader.. my favorite author is Og Mandino, most of his writings is a self hep book. I also like Sidney Sheldon….etc Finally about love, “the most beautiful things in world cannot be seen or even touch it must be felt with the heart” according to Helen Keller.. in my case, it brings out the best of me.. and makes me complete! “

This is only a preamble to what I’d like to tell you after my request concerning the Filipina woman which I recommended to you

Read the next carefully, its my last confession to you!